Wowzers

Sooooo, it's been awhile. A very very long while. 2.5 months, give or take, a while. Yeah buddy, I'm an ace blogger. No wonder this blog is read by tens of people every week!

Here's the last 2.5 months in a nutshell:

September
• ASU beat Michigan. Woohoo!
• I went to visit my buddy Mike (and his uber cute dog, Boomer) and played with with his Wii (and I mean the Nintendo game system, it's not code for something dirty, you dirty minded people!)
• Miss Crazy (Mom) had a very negative reaction to her migraine med (Topamax) and spent every weekend in bed crying b/c the Topamax had made her depressed to no end. On the upside, she didn't have any migraines.
• In short, September was the month I spent a lot of time saying things like "I didn't mean it like THAT!" and listen to Miss Crazy wax on how horrific her life is and trying not to take it personally.

October
• Mom stopped taking Topamax. Thank you Jeezus!
• First week of October: two of the four tires on my Jeep went flat. Dang Michellin tires just aren't good for more than seven years. Had to buy four new tires. = $400
• Second week of October: Mom still feeling some moody blues like side effects of Topamax but is not longer and, umm, delicate as she was. Boomer needs surgery to remove a growth on his leg. = $300
• Third week of October: Boomer pops his stiches. Another trip to the Vet. Vet decides not to restitch and puts him on antibiotic. Mom's hemoglobin levels tank (to a 9.4) and her creatin levels rise to a 1.9. Given her delicate emotional state, you can guess how she reacted to this news. Thought she was going to die...lots of crying, oh woe to her, etc etc. Me wishing the drama queen would move to Wisteria Lane... It's determined she has a bleeding ulcer. Put her on Prevacid. Her hemo. levels rise in 3 days (10.7) and her creat. stays level at 1.9. Her hemotologist thinks this is the result of another migraine med, Ketoprofin. Crisis averted.
Fourth Week of October: The hard drive on my iBook dies. No chance of repair. 4 years worth of stuff gone. Replacement drive = $250 Vital things were backed up on dvd's or discs but you would be amazed at the amount of stuff one can acquire on a harddrive that you will miss. The upside: I have a bigger (80GB) drive that will now hold even more stuff and a more current OS (10.4.10).
In short: Lots of $$ sucked out of my savings account and lots of unwarrented drama exacerbated by the remains of Topamax. On the upside, nothing tragic happend. Boomer survived his surgery. My laptop was given new life. When my tires went flat, at least it happend in the driveway. Mom didn't die.

I'll catch you up on November in a bit. I'm posting this using the Blogger dashboard widget and I'm not sure how in love I am with it yet. It's nice for short posts, but has nothing in the way of formatting (save for bold and italics) so I'll likely use it for quickies.

Michigan Who?

In case you haven't heard by now, my alama mater, UNC-Tweetsie (Appalachian State) embarrassed the #5 team in the nation, the University of Michigan in football yesterday. Final score of 34-32, in what Sports Illustrated and AP writers are calling an Upset for the Ages.

The last 2:44 of the game, showing that block by Corey Lynch, who is going to be treated like a rock star for the rest of his collegiate career:


A highlight reel:


Another highlight reel:


PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. Having watched clips of Appalachian's upset on national news for the last 18 hours, it has come to my attention that some of y'all are in serious need of schooling. The following is a pronunciation guide for Appalachian (listen up CNN, people north of NC and west of TN)

Appalachian is pronounced: App-uh-latch-in

*NOT*

App-ah-lay-shin


There is no better way to make an Appalachian student, fan or alumni start foaming at the mouth than to pronounce our beloved school App-ah-lay-shin (CNN and ESPN I'm looking at you and y'all should know better) I know some of you are probably rolling your eyes and saying "pfffft, semantics. Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe" and that's all well and good.

But.

Appalachian State fans/students/alumni don't give a damn how you pronounce tomato just be sure to pronounce our school correctly. App-uh-latch-in.

In an AP story, about how the town of Boone was off the hook post-win, there's a picture of students wearing t-shirts proclaiming "Michigan who?" (see picture at top of post) I'd sell a kidney to have one of those shirts. I know they're unofficial but I have a feeling they're going to be loads better than the Official Licensed shirts. At any rate, they're more creative and I applaud creativity.

Finally, one last article on the win and my personal favorite of what I've read so far. Steve Silverman does a very apt job, in the opening paragraph, of describing ASU from the psyches of distraught Michigan fans:

%$%%$ Appalachian State.

From now on the tiny school from western North Carolina will be known as %^%$##$@ Appalachian State whenever the subject of the Mountaineers comes up in Ann Arbor.

Michigan who?

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Technorati: appalachian state, mountineers, michigan, wolverines, football

Word of the day is...

It has come to my attention that some words are grossly underused, and it's a shame. What spurred this realization was a sentence uttered by Monty Burns in The Simpsons episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns, Part 2"

If you watch this clip, the sentence is at 00:54, "I was free to wallow in my own crapulence"

Brilliant. Not only use of the word "wallow" but the word "crapulence" had never before appeared on my vocabulary radar.

According to The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language:

crap·u·lence (krpy-lns)

n.

1. Sickness caused by excessive eating or drinking.

2. Excessive indulgence; intemperance.

---

[From crapulent, sick from gluttony, from Late Latin crpulentus, very drunk, from Latin crpula, intoxication, from Greek kraipal.]

As a writer, reader and all-around geek, when I come across a word that is somewhat unusual and rarely used, I get a little tingly from excitement. Crapulence, just the very name invokes giggles. It's absolutely brilliant, way better than any of its synonyms, including inebriated. The English language could be livened up considerably if everyone just owned a thesaurus.

I take that back, the English language could be livened up considerably if everyone:
a.) knew what a thesaurus was (give you a hint, it's not a type of dinosaur...)
and
b.) knew how to use it

A thesaurus owner doesn't necessarily translate into a thesaurus user, my bad for leaping to conclusions.



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Technorati: the simpsons, montgomery burns, who shot mr. burns, crapulence, thesaurus, word

I'm goin' to Priaseland!!

During my rant about Holy Land, something, somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my mind was screaming for attention. Like I had read about a biblical amusement park (excuse me, living museum ) before, or had seen it parodied or something. This concept of Jesus land wasn't totally foreign to me.

Then, very slowly, images began popping into my mind. Yellow skin, "d'oh!!", mmmmm...beer, Ned Flanders..

The Simpsons! Of course! I can't remember what I had for dinner last night but I have the vague memory of a tv episode from eons ago. Of course I would.

Thank God there's Google, with it's ability to fill in the gaps an addled brain tends to leave out. Keywords: Simpsons, Ned Flanders, bible, amusement park. Voila!

Episode 267 of The Simpsons: "I'm Goin' to Praiseland"

According to TV.com, this episode aired on May 6, 2001, spring semester my freshman year at App. State. The Holy Land Experience opened on February 5th 2001. Who can say whether the grand opening of Holy Land made a big enough splash on the world stage for it to show up on radar of The Simpsons staff, but you can't deny the coincidence.


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Technorati Tags: The Simpsons, Ned Flanders, Praiseland, Homer Simpson, Maude Flanders, bible, theme park

Can't...stop...myself....

From commenting on an article found on msnbc.com. How can a story titled Jesus crucified 6 days a week in Florida not catch your eye? At the very least, file it under "Things That Make You Go Hmmmm..."

In a nutshell, the story is about a park in Orlando, FL called The Holy Land Experience. It's supposed to take you back to the land and time of the Bible. Jerusalem 2000 years ago, complete with Garden Tomb and sand.
I was reading this with the mild interest of a person wanting to learn more about what those silly Floriduh folks are up to now, until I came to this quote:

Jesus walked among them with a wireless microphone, calling children and picking one up. Excited parents with digital and disposable cameras crept forward as their kids fidgeted and kicked at sand.

‘Like I had gone to church’
Lisa Bell, 42, husband David Bell, 50, and their 2-year-old son came from Ripley, Tenn., after seeing Holy Land on Trinity. She said they didn’t consider attending the other parks.

“Oh no. Jesus was just holding him,” Lisa Bell said, nodding to her sunburned son. “He knows who Jesus is.”

I felt my left eye twitch from the strain of keeping my Shut Up Filter intact. "Leave them alone," my Rational Side chided. "They're not harming anyone and as far as you can surmise The Holy Land Experience isn't place that openly breeds or condones intolerance. It's not like it's Jerry Falwell approved with a 'Whack-a-Sinner' arcade game. It helps people feel more connected to the faith of their choice, good for them."

"But...but...it's not that!! It's that a 2 year old is going to grow up thinking he's actually met Jesus," I objected. "He's 2 years old for Pete's sake! Jesus at a theme park is now on the same tier as Santa Claus at the mall!! He knows who Jesus is?? Really?? And don't EVEN get me started on the 'Jesus walked among them with a wireless microphone' ....."

"Just leave.....it.....ALONE!" said The Rational Side. "Seriously, there's a wealth of material out there you could better devote your brain cells to. Oh look, here's something shiny...."

So I left it alone. The Rational Side had won.

Until later, when I decided to visit The Holy Land Experience website. What can I say? I have a habit of sucking air through cavities too.

This banner photo greeted me:








The Rational Side ran for cover as my Shut Up Filter shattered into a billion pieces.

"Look into the eyes of the One who changed the course of history..."

*blink*

No, no you're not. You're not looking into THE eyes of THE One. You're looking into the eyes of a drama major named Dwayne chosen for his wasp-y looks and ability to grow a divine beard.

I know, I know, don't be such a buzz kill. Every rational adult and child over the age of 8 knows they aren't looking into the eyes of The Jesus. That this is all role-playing, it just an experience and what would a bible land be without The Big Kahuna Himself? It's like Disney World w/out Mickey, Sea World w/out Shamu and Walley World w/out Marty Moose.

Still, something bugs me. Knowing that children of a certain age equate a character in a costume to The Real Thing. This is ok if they're posing for photos with Winnie the Pooh but there's going to be a whole crop of children who will be making their Sunday school teachers insane by saying "I've met Jesus! He lives in Florida!" if their parents don't take the time to explain otherwise....

By the way, just a little heads up. Holy Land has a fiercely loyal following. Again, good for them. Please be aware though that some are just a tad over-protective of Jesus and consequently anyone chosen to portray Him on this Earthly realm until He truly comes back fo' real. You need to use caution with these people when discussing (if you must) Holy Land.

Two things:

1. Don't you DARE call it an amusement park! There's nothing amusing about the crucifixion of Christ! Do you think Christ's suffering was funny? Huh? Do ya?? If you do, then you go to hell! You go to hell and you die!!! It's a living biblical MUSEUM you heathen reprobate!

2. It's also not a "theme park"! Christianity is not a theme, it's a lifestyle!!!! If you don't follow this lifestyle then you go to hell! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!



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Technorati Tags: disney world, orlando, florida, holy land experience, jesus christ, jerry falwell

Testing this here Firefox doo-hicky....

I'm finding myself falling more and more in love with the Firefox browser. Since Apple hasn't seen fit to update their Safari browser in ages (fine by me) I decided to move to greener pastures and invest in Firefox {insert trumpet fanfare here}. I've spent the evening downloading a plethora of add-on's, some needed, some desired and some completely worthless. My favorites are Foxy Tunes which enables me to control my iTunes from my web browser so I'm not forever switching between screens and Scribe Fire, what I'm currently using to post here.

In theory.

The benefits of this add-on remain to be seen. I love the idea, but whether it's going to work without a hitch and really is easier than logging into Blogger and blah blah blah, has yet to be tested.

Hence this post.

Powered by ScribeFire.

From the archives...

The Boys and Girls. Blowing Rock Park, August 2003
(not pictured: Trey, Shauna and Elizabeth)

I found this in my Mom's "saved email" folder while helping her organize her hard drive. It's one I sent during my senior year (2003-2004) in college. Even though this was 3 years ago, I remember that night distinctly. Couldn't tell you what t-shirt I wore yesterday, but I remember that nasty cookie dough clearly and The Boys belief that the only bad cookie dough is no cookie dough at all.....

The Boys made cookies last night, and I say "cookies" in the loosest sense of the word.

Now this is something they have dabbled in before, usually with hit or miss success, but in recent times they have gotten a handle on it. Chocolate chip cookies are their forte, until last night...

Rick ambled in, got all the necessary equipment/ingredients and shuffled back out (things like spatulas, bowls and baking soda float freely between our room and theirs) and about 30 minutes later, LeeAnn, having decided that nothing edible last long Across the Hall, went to confiscate a few for The Girls.

She came back empty handed.

Her first sentence was "I don't know what they *did*, or *didn't* do, but chocolate chip cookies those aren't. Lead-lined hockey pucks, maybe, but certainly NOT cookies."

"I haven't seen cookies or dough this bad since...since...well, the last time Corey 'helped'"

So of course we all had to barrel over across the hall to witness this debacle firsthand and sho' nuff, the dough looked like something a vulture might've thrown up. Not to say it was a total loss, it would have been excellent for hanging wallpaper, spackling a hole in the wall, caulking a bathtub.....

Even though the cookies were a total bust, The Boys decided that icky cookie dough is just as edible as good cookie dough and proceeded to eat the entire bowl (although Corey diluted his with ice cream "what? It's just like cookie-dough ice cream you'd buy at the store! Kind of...")

I can honestly say that having The Boys across the hall is the best learning experience I've had in my undergrad career. We (The Girls) feel sometimes that we're living in a Discovery Channel special and at any moment, the Croc Hunter is going to pop out and say "now here we have an excellent example of the 'y' chromosome in their natural habitat. Notice the attempt to establish territory by leaving dirty socks throughout their domicile...These males are at the peak of evolution, believing if what they eat doesn't kill them, it will only build their immunity..."

Reality check, aisle 5....

It's been a little over a week since the much heralded iPhone whipped gadget freaks into a frenzy. Like nearly everything in life that is over-hyped, surprise surprise, some people are disgruntled about their purchase.

This shouldn't be news. If there was a colossal snafu with the iPhone's OS, then by all means, notify consumers.

But no.

What has thousands of iPhone owners panties in a twist? The !@#$ battery.

*blink*

Really? This should come as a shock? The iPhone lasts approximately 300-400 charges after that, the battery begins to diminish. The phone must then be sent in and the battery replaced in 3 business days. If this phone were a commoner used merely to make and receive calls, I'd understand, but it's not. It's a phone, mp3 player, capable of showing movies and a fully equipped internet browser. What would you expect?? Not to mention this is Apple we're dealing with here, they've made it their business to make battery replacement a booming side venture. This was first noticed with iPods, you HAD to send it in to Official Apple Techs who can replace the battery in what is a VERY DELICATE PROCEDURE.

Until it came to light that replacing an iPod battery isn't all that difficult. Numerous websites have step-by-step instructions, some with video. My favorite being the fine folks at I-Fix-iPods-Fast and their video tutorials. I've resurrected my 3rd Gen 15gb iPod and repaired a busted 80 GB iPod thanks to them. All for the cost of a battery ($15) and a new screen ($40). Much less than the exorbitant price Apple wanted for the same repairs.

Maybe what baffles me the most is how many people are acting indignant over this. As if dropping $600 for the phone + tax + $60/month for service isn't going to break the bank, but the $79 is going to push them over the edge? I wonder how many people, had they known this prior to buying an iPhone, would have chosen to postpone their purchase?

My guess is not many. Lots of Americans have problems suppressing their Inner Gratification Demons and if they want to spend $600 on a 1st Generation phone NOW, then they're going to do it and damn the consequences. These people should have their right to whine about something as paltry as a battery, revoked. Do not pass go, do not collect $200....

"Keep on keepin' on like a bird that flew...."

I had ankle surgery in April which necessitated me being in a cast and on crutches for 9 weeks. The couch in the living room was where I spent most of my time. It's prime real estate really, nearly equidistant from the kitchen and the bathroom, you just can't beat that. Boomer was rather put out that my leg occupied the space on the couch usually reserved for him and took to glaring at me from his pillow pallet on the floor. I spent a lot of time reading but in between books I would spend an inordinate amount of time staring out the front windows. If it weren't for the fact I live at the very end of a dead-end street where there is virtually nothing to actually watch, I could have given Jimmy Stewart's performance in Rear Window a real run for its money.

While there wasn't much in the way of people watching the bird feeder hanging on the crab apple tree provided a steady flow of entertainment in its own way.

Starlings, Robins, Cardinals, a slew of virtually indistinguishable (to me) small brown birds and the occasional ballsy squirrel who would attempt to land on the feeder (only to miss his/her target and fall into an undignified heap on the ground) One day there was a break in the monotony of usual suspects, a gorgeous yellow and black bird. I had never seen such a brilliant shade of yellow on a bird before. Never having been anything more than a casual viewer of warm-blooded, egg-laying, bipedal, vertebrates from the class Aves, I didn't have a clue what this bird was called. Google google, what would I do without you? Turns out the bird is a Goldfinch, pictured here to the right.

I've learned a lot about these little buggers, when I lack knowledge about a certain animal, vegetable or mineral I like to research it within an inch of its life. The almost day-glo yellow of this Goldfinch is his "breeding plumage" (you knew it had to be a male bird right? Boy birds seem to have all the colors, Cardinals, Robins...must be something to do with the fragile male ego)
Goldfinches molt twice a year, unlike most birds that only molt in the fall.

Once a male Goldfinch woos a female goldfinch, knocks her up and builds a nest, he molts and turns into this decidedly less flashy version:

How brilliant is this?! Breeding plumage to initially attract a mate, then once the deal is sealed, morphing into an utterly nondescript guy (I'm sure what they lack in color they make up for with a sparkling personality).

Then it hit me. This isn't SO brilliant, humans have been growing and molting "breeding plumage" since the dawn of time. Men and women spend a lot of time and effort showing off their plumage to available (and sometimes unavailable) mates. However, human males (and to be fair, females) breeding plumage doesn't fade as quickly as a Goldfinches. The high-school stud muffin can take a good 20 years (30 if nature is kind) to molt into a beer gut, balding visage. Although when you factor in the life span of a Goldfinch vs. Humans, it's probably equal.
Internet dating too, I suppose, could be a good example. A man initially writes he is a 6'4", flaxen haired Chippendale with excellent conversation skills who loves to listen, cook, clean, and snuggle really turns out to be a grease ball with cloven hooves.

More deep thoughts from the shallow end of the pool, bet y'all wish I had never laid eyes on a Goldfinch....

Jesus Christ has returned!! Oh..wait....nevermind. It's just the iPhone.

Glory glory! The day so many Mac fanatics and gadget freaks and people with large disposable incomes have been fantasizing about has arrived. {trumpet fanfare} the iPhone is heeeeeere.

First, a disclaimer. I'm a big Apple/Mac fan. I think it started back in The Day when I first played Oregon Trail on an Apple II in elementary school. I own two Macs, 3 ipods and a partridge in a pear tree. I love (although with gas being $3 a gallon, I don't love it as *much* anymore) driving to Durham to visit the Southpoint Apple store where I careen around the shop like a tech junkie jonesing for a fix. I play with all the new computers, experiment with every new OS and marvel at how small the iPods have become. I love that New Mac smell.

But it cracks me up that the news stresses that many people are waiting in line to buy the 1st Gen. iPhone for "bragging rights"

Ahem.

I don't know what kind of friends y'all have, but I know that if I approached my friends with my 1st generation $600 cell phone/toy complete with 60-$100 a month plan w/ a questionable carrier, doing a "I-waited-in-line-5-days-for-this" BOO-YAH dance of victory, they would be many things but impressed is not one of them.

Amused? Probably. Horrified at the B.O. stench that accompanies waiting in line for 5 days? Most definitely. They would be entranced with the iPhone and appreciative that I am magnanimous enough to let them play with it but they would certainly not be impressed with me and the manner I chose to acquire this little beauty of a gizmo.

Of course if waiting in line yourself is just not your cup of tea but waiting a couple days to order online is just too, I dunno, sane, then you can pay someone to wait in line for you.

I'm not trying to piss on anyone's parade here, I know what it's like to be super-duper-uber excited about something (I've camped out overnight for concert tickets, and met some great people in the process) but SERIOUSLY!! Spending 3+ days outside, in a lawn chair, to drop $600 (do you KNOW what I could do with $600?!?!) on a FIRST GENERATION electronic doodad, then be subjected to AT&T/Cingular's crappy service for 2 years while knowing full well that a new and improved 2nd Generation will be released in a year or less?

*blink*

Seriously???

Me? I'm holding out for the much rumored touch-screen/full screen Next Gen Video iPod. You know, something I'll only have to sell a kidney for.

Just so you know...

Because Lord knows, I hate it when people are left to labor under false pretenses, here's the truth.



This is not an important blog.


Not in the least.

I am not a solider serving in Iraq. I am not a scorned woman. I do not have enough emotional baggage to warrant using a fork-lift. I am not a rabid advocate for a worthwhile cause (ok so that's a slight fib. There are a few non-profits I wholeheartedly support, more about them later when the mood strikes me).

I guess what I'm getting to is that if you are looking at this blog as a source of great enlightenment you would best be served to look elsewhere. Let's face it, if you're looking for a light-bulb a-ha moment on a blog, well, maybe you ought to consider other outside sources too. I'm just sayin'....

This is not to say that I won't be serious (I *do* have times when marginal sanity reigns) and since I revel in staying on top of current events (it makes me crazy when people don't realize what is going on in the world around them) there will no doubt be times where y'all will behold me in my full Malfunctioning Shut-Up Filter glory.

I might not be important but I will be, at the very least, entertaining.

Brain drippings

This is a place where I can write, without fear of retribution, when my shut-up filter isn't working and my backup "edit button" is nowhere to be found.

It's really just a test post. It'll get better, honest.