From commenting on an article found on msnbc.com. How can a story titled Jesus crucified 6 days a week in Florida not catch your eye? At the very least, file it under "Things That Make You Go Hmmmm..."
In a nutshell, the story is about a park in Orlando, FL called The Holy Land Experience. It's supposed to take you back to the land and time of the Bible. Jerusalem 2000 years ago, complete with Garden Tomb and sand.
I was reading this with the mild interest of a person wanting to learn more about what those silly Floriduh folks are up to now, until I came to this quote:
"But...but...it's not that!! It's that a 2 year old is going to grow up thinking he's actually met Jesus," I objected. "He's 2 years old for Pete's sake! Jesus at a theme park is now on the same tier as Santa Claus at the mall!! He knows who Jesus is?? Really?? And don't EVEN get me started on the 'Jesus walked among them with a wireless microphone' ....."
"Just leave.....it.....ALONE!" said The Rational Side. "Seriously, there's a wealth of material out there you could better devote your brain cells to. Oh look, here's something shiny...."
So I left it alone. The Rational Side had won.
Until later, when I decided to visit The Holy Land Experience website. What can I say? I have a habit of sucking air through cavities too.
This banner photo greeted me:
The Rational Side ran for cover as my Shut Up Filter shattered into a billion pieces.
"Look into the eyes of the One who changed the course of history..."
*blink*
No, no you're not. You're not looking into THE eyes of THE One. You're looking into the eyes of a drama major named Dwayne chosen for his wasp-y looks and ability to grow a divine beard.
I know, I know, don't be such a buzz kill. Every rational adult and child over the age of 8 knows they aren't looking into the eyes of The Jesus. That this is all role-playing, it just an experience and what would a bible land be without The Big Kahuna Himself? It's like Disney World w/out Mickey, Sea World w/out Shamu and Walley World w/out Marty Moose.
Still, something bugs me. Knowing that children of a certain age equate a character in a costume to The Real Thing. This is ok if they're posing for photos with Winnie the Pooh but there's going to be a whole crop of children who will be making their Sunday school teachers insane by saying "I've met Jesus! He lives in Florida!" if their parents don't take the time to explain otherwise....
By the way, just a little heads up. Holy Land has a fiercely loyal following. Again, good for them. Please be aware though that some are just a tad over-protective of Jesus and consequently anyone chosen to portray Him on this Earthly realm until He truly comes back fo' real. You need to use caution with these people when discussing (if you must) Holy Land.
Two things:
1. Don't you DARE call it an amusement park! There's nothing amusing about the crucifixion of Christ! Do you think Christ's suffering was funny? Huh? Do ya?? If you do, then you go to hell! You go to hell and you die!!! It's a living biblical MUSEUM you heathen reprobate!
2. It's also not a "theme park"! Christianity is not a theme, it's a lifestyle!!!! If you don't follow this lifestyle then you go to hell! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!
----------------
Now playing: Jon Nicholson - Grandma
via FoxyTunes
Technorati Tags: disney world, orlando, florida, holy land experience, jesus christ, jerry falwell
In a nutshell, the story is about a park in Orlando, FL called The Holy Land Experience. It's supposed to take you back to the land and time of the Bible. Jerusalem 2000 years ago, complete with Garden Tomb and sand.
I was reading this with the mild interest of a person wanting to learn more about what those silly Floriduh folks are up to now, until I came to this quote:
Jesus walked among them with a wireless microphone, calling children and picking one up. Excited parents with digital and disposable cameras crept forward as their kids fidgeted and kicked at sand.
‘Like I had gone to church’
Lisa Bell, 42, husband David Bell, 50, and their 2-year-old son came from Ripley, Tenn., after seeing Holy Land on Trinity. She said they didn’t consider attending the other parks.“Oh no. Jesus was just holding him,” Lisa Bell said, nodding to her sunburned son. “He knows who Jesus is.”
I felt my left eye twitch from the strain of keeping my Shut Up Filter intact. "Leave them alone," my Rational Side chided. "They're not harming anyone and as far as you can surmise The Holy Land Experience isn't place that openly breeds or condones intolerance. It's not like it's Jerry Falwell approved with a 'Whack-a-Sinner' arcade game. It helps people feel more connected to the faith of their choice, good for them."
"But...but...it's not that!! It's that a 2 year old is going to grow up thinking he's actually met Jesus," I objected. "He's 2 years old for Pete's sake! Jesus at a theme park is now on the same tier as Santa Claus at the mall!! He knows who Jesus is?? Really?? And don't EVEN get me started on the 'Jesus walked among them with a wireless microphone' ....."
"Just leave.....it.....ALONE!" said The Rational Side. "Seriously, there's a wealth of material out there you could better devote your brain cells to. Oh look, here's something shiny...."
So I left it alone. The Rational Side had won.
Until later, when I decided to visit The Holy Land Experience website. What can I say? I have a habit of sucking air through cavities too.
This banner photo greeted me:
The Rational Side ran for cover as my Shut Up Filter shattered into a billion pieces.
"Look into the eyes of the One who changed the course of history..."
*blink*
No, no you're not. You're not looking into THE eyes of THE One. You're looking into the eyes of a drama major named Dwayne chosen for his wasp-y looks and ability to grow a divine beard.
I know, I know, don't be such a buzz kill. Every rational adult and child over the age of 8 knows they aren't looking into the eyes of The Jesus. That this is all role-playing, it just an experience and what would a bible land be without The Big Kahuna Himself? It's like Disney World w/out Mickey, Sea World w/out Shamu and Walley World w/out Marty Moose.
Still, something bugs me. Knowing that children of a certain age equate a character in a costume to The Real Thing. This is ok if they're posing for photos with Winnie the Pooh but there's going to be a whole crop of children who will be making their Sunday school teachers insane by saying "I've met Jesus! He lives in Florida!" if their parents don't take the time to explain otherwise....
By the way, just a little heads up. Holy Land has a fiercely loyal following. Again, good for them. Please be aware though that some are just a tad over-protective of Jesus and consequently anyone chosen to portray Him on this Earthly realm until He truly comes back fo' real. You need to use caution with these people when discussing (if you must) Holy Land.
Two things:
1. Don't you DARE call it an amusement park! There's nothing amusing about the crucifixion of Christ! Do you think Christ's suffering was funny? Huh? Do ya?? If you do, then you go to hell! You go to hell and you die!!! It's a living biblical MUSEUM you heathen reprobate!
2. It's also not a "theme park"! Christianity is not a theme, it's a lifestyle!!!! If you don't follow this lifestyle then you go to hell! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!
----------------
Now playing: Jon Nicholson - Grandma
via FoxyTunes
Technorati Tags: disney world, orlando, florida, holy land experience, jesus christ, jerry falwell
1 comment:
I'm sorry for your cynicism. If you can't believe that in an Arian Jesus (as per HLE promotional photo) that has come back to work the streets of an amusement park, then I laugh at you. Haven't we already done the religious amusement park thing several times? Has it ever worked? Has it ever left people less jaded than before?
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